Some days I really feel like an athlete. Striding down the road, full of myself and my abilities. But then there are days that I feel like a wannabe runner. That was me today. As I'm joggin' down the road, thoughts are runnin' thru my head:
"you are SO slow."
"hope no one sees you running, they'll wonder why you're even trying."
"what were you thinkin' entering a marathon."
"you're never gonna make it."
"you don't even push yourself"
And it goes on and on. I don't really know why today was so bad. I'm very critical of myself. I knew my pace was slow and it went downhill from there. I try to speed up but my legs feel heavy. Then I feel defeated. Then I get mad. I was suppose to run 30 minutes. I think it should be easy for me to complete 3 miles in that time. But I don't so I make myself keep running until I do hit 3 miles. And it only took me 31:10. I was just over a 10 min/mile. Realistically, I should be okay with that all things considered. So why wasn't I?
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I'm right there with you. Some days I feel awesome and "legitimate" and other days I feel like I'm pretending.
ReplyDeleteI was running by the road the other day and this random blue car passed me. I was at the point in my run when I wanted to walk. I wouldn't allow myself to walk until the blue car was out of sight. For some reason I thought the driver might be looking in his rearview mirror to see if I'd walk. How pathetic is that?!?!?
I'm entirely too self-conscious when I run. But you know what? We're awesome. You and me. End of story. 10 minute mile? yea. You're awesome.
Know how you feel. been there lots. Doesn't help that a fellow runner I know placed like 2nd over all female in her last race. And another goes like 15 plus miles per day. Somedays I feel like a whimp. But I keep doing it anyway to stay healthy. Besides that girl is way younger than me she should be faster I guess, but it is hard to cough up my times when she asks. Who cares how fast you are I think it is amazing that you are even trying a marathon I just don't have the guts to go that far, half marathon yes, but not a full one, so you go girl!!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl! A 10 minute mile is smokin' fast! It takes me 15 minutes to "run" a mile. I'm as slow as a slow walkers pace! Just keep it up. You are beautiful, you are fit, you are strong! Don't let your brain kick your ass. You kick it's ass! Get yourself a visual of you kick boxing the crap outta that snotty girl who tells you you can't. I KNOW as long as your achillies holds up, you'll be in that marathon. But please if it asks you not to.......then just take it easy! ;) Sorry, a little Momma Goodwife had to say that!
ReplyDeleteI do that exact thing all the time! I'm really bad about thinking I should have some magic number of miles in a certain amount of time and being mad when it doesn't pan out. I try to think of the days when a 12min mile was all I could do and then I think a 10min mile isn't so bad.
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